As a trans man I was late to the sex game.
I’d dated a few boys growing up, but never did I actually let it get that far – I considered myself a prude, a repressed individual who was grossed out at the thought of anyone touching me there, and so would not commit myself to the act.
Luckily my boyfriends at the time were understanding and I was never forced to go further than I was comfortable, but in my mind, that’s what sex would be when I would finally get that far – uncomfortable. I would do it to please my future partner, not because I was into it myself.
In those same years growing up, I lay awake at night, wondering if I might actually be bisexual. I was wildly in love with one of my female friends, but again, the thought of sex repulsed me – I couldn’t imagine interacting with her in that way, because female bodies were repellent to me. I was confused to the point of crying; how could I be bisexual if I wasn’t attracted to female bodies at all? I decided it was just a random crush and that it didn’t mean anything for my sexuality. After all, being a very gender non-conforming person who was assigned female at birth, being straight was the one “normal” thing about me.
Fast-forward a few years. I’d since come to realize I’m trans, and that I was not actually sex-repulsed, but that I was a trans man suffering from dysphoria. Knowing who I was and what had been wrong all those years greatly helped me to accept my own body and how I interacted with it. Paired with the increase in sex drive and downstairs growth from testosterone, I turned into more of a sexual being than I had ever thought possible. Because I had previously identified as straight, I now identified as gay. I still longed for a penis, but if I couldn’t have my own, I’d just have fun with someone else’s.
I waited for the right person to have my first time with, figuring that I’d waited this long, I might as well wait longer. Call me a romantic, but I wanted it to be with someone that I trusted. I had prepared myself for the possible event by buying a Joystick from Transthetics. I considered myself more of a receiver, but I wanted to be ready; the idea of being on top was oddly intriguing to me, and so I spent the money on the most realistic dick in my arsenal yet.
…I waited for the right person to have my first time with, figuring that I’d waited this long, I might as well wait longer. Call me a romantic, but I wanted it to be with someone that I trusted.
Imagine my surprise when one day I started talking to a girl, and felt those same butterflies as I had felt with my female crush all those years ago. I had started taking the possibility that I was in fact bi more seriously at this point, finding myself fantasizing about the bodies that I once spurned, but she made it clear once and for all – I was bi, and I was head over heels. When it became clear that the feeling was mutual, we had to have the talk. I had known she was bi from the start, but I was still nervous, having to confess to two things – one, that I was a virgin, and two, that my dick was currently detached from my body, lying in a drawer upstairs.
…I was still nervous, having to confess to two things – one, that I was a virgin, and two, that my dick was currently detached from my body, lying in a drawer upstairs.
I don’t know which one she was more surprised by, but she reassured me that it didn’t change the way she saw me. She asked to see my literal equipment, marveling over how realistic it looked and felt. My face was hot from nerves, the butterflies a perfect storm in my stomach as she turned it over in her hands, thinking she was going to need to sleep on this information, and could possibly still break up with me.
Then she took my hand, stood up from the couch with my dick in the other and said, “Ready to leave boyhood behind and become a man?”
We went upstairs. Looking down at her in front of me on my bed, her legs spread, then looking between my own and seeing my very own cock protruding from the briefs I had ordered along with my Joystick, I swear something suddenly clicked into place in my brain. I don’t know if it’s physically possible, but as I entered the girl I loved and tried to find the most comfortable position, I could literally feel the inside of her body against mine, as if my dick wasn’t made of silicone but was in fact my own sensitive skin. It felt like the dick I was meant to have been born with.
…as I entered the girl I loved and tried to find the most comfortable position, I could literally feel the inside of her body against mine, as if my dick wasn’t made of silicone but was in fact my own sensitive skin. It felt like the dick I was meant to have been born with.
“There is no doubt. You are definitely a man,” she told me afterwards, complimenting the way I had wielded it. I was glad she thought so; the movements had felt natural to me, my desire to make her feel good stronger than anything else. I’d never thought it was possible I would have a way of pleasuring someone in the most natural way that was ingrained in my brain without going through invasive surgery, but I almost cried when I felt her muscles clench around me, whispering that she loved my cock.
You should have seen the way her eyes lit up when I told her it could vibrate, too.