Just like in elevators, there is an unspoken etiquette about how one navigates the space of a men’s room.
However, unlike elevators, which most of us have been familiar with all of our lives, the men’s room is new territory for many of us, and hence can be really quite intimidating and daunting, especially at the start, so here’s a few pointers that anyone who has been using the men’s room all their life, will find completely self evident, but which I thought might just be worth spelling out for those of us late to the initiation.
Follow these guidelines, and you’ll be absolutely fine.
Keep your eyes to yourself. Unlike in women’s toilets, it is not socially acceptable to smile and make eye contact as you’re passing other guys.
Because men avoid eye contact in bathrooms, it’s very unlikely you’ll be perceived as anything other than male, seeing that really, nobody will look at you directly unless you REALLY stand out. Generally, people see what they think they see, and in a men’s room, guys expect to see guys.
If you are walking up to urinals that already has people using them, again think elevator etiquette. Take the space that is furthest away from whoever is already at the urinals.
Once at a urinal, there are only two places you should be looking: down at your own crotch or straight ahead (and maybe up) but no glancing left or right.
The general rule is, don’t talk. A weird exception to this rule seems to be if you’re going into a restroom with a mate and there’s nobody else there. Then it’s almost mandatory to chit chat whilst taking a tinkle. However, if there’s others in there with you, the unspoken rule is to zip it till you’re outside. Talking to a stranger at a urinal, unless they are your mate, is usually seen as a direct come on, so unless that’s your intention, don’t.
If you’re not comfortable using a urinal and you have to wait for a stall, again, keep your eyes to yourself, and look bored, or deep in thought.
If you are using a stall, rest assured NOBODY is noticing that you’re peeing and not pooping, or that your feet are facing the wrong way, or that your pee stream sounds weird or any other number of things trans guys think the rest of the world notices. It’s really not that weird for natal guys to just prefer stalls even if they’re just peeing for any number of reasons (they’re pee shy, they like to wipe etc.)
You’ll see guys using the stalls to pee and not bother closing the doors. I thought this was weird and exhibitionistic the first few times I saw it, but my current theory is that guys just don’t like having to touch the doors if they don’t have to (unfortunately this also applies to flushing.) This is a good way to gradually build up the courage to use the urinal.
Lastly, you most likely will NOT find it easy to just go up to a urinal and use it no matter how bomber the STP is you may be using. Even as a regular urinal user (and my go to is the EZP Junior) I still get pee shy, especially if someone else walks in just as I’m getting ready to pee, I can often still be standing there even after they’re done. I’ve joked about this to a lot of my guy friends, and they assure me, I am not alone, it happens to a lot of men.
So there you have it. These guide lines are by no means comprehensive, so would love you to add any additional advice/ observations/tips and tricks you may have in the comments below.
Thanks guys, this is very welcome! I already found out some of it (with rosy cheeks), but that won’t have to happen again now.
In the Southern United States some guys WILL notice if your feet are “facing the wrong way” in a stall. There are men… AND women… who WATCH for anything that feels “trans” in bathrooms. They are zealous about trying to punish people who are not in the bathroom that “confirms to one’s biological sex at birth”.
A lot of natal guys pee sitting down, though. I live in the south, have used the men’s room for several years, and there’s a lot of reasons, like those listed, that they might sit. Usually it’s because they’re going to poop, too, so if there’s any worry that someone IS looking out for this sort of thing, just stay in the stall longer to make it seem like you’re going number 2.